My second visit of America's northern most brewery in a week. Not sure what that says of me or northern breweries. This one is brought to you via Ted Stevens International Airport. The first was at it actual location in Fox, just north of Fairbanks AK for those needing more precise landmarks of somewhat familiar locations.
Well despite what the title suggests I'm actually not trying to escape SouthCentral Alaska. Far from it in fact, it is just as a Sourdough, yup I've got my card as I took a shit in a friend's outhouse at 30 below, I'm leery to the lingering winter future. Besides my Southeastern destination of Juneau is snowed in and thus a major stack up on the big board. Funny thing about Juneau and Anchorage- one is jealous of the other and the other simply does not give a shit. Given that most of the high roller out of town oil assholes are here in ANC and the other is the state capital I'll let you make the decision as to who has daddy issues.
That being said I have had the honor, pleasure, and pain of living in both locales. I like both regions yet my heart lies in SouthCentral. A disclaimer: most of my time up here- up versus yet another region the Interior and its more intense North Slope brother, has been spent in Indian. Another disclaimer: most folks in Anchorage which has about half the population of Alaska have not even heard of Indian. In fact several folks upon hearing my answer to their question, "where do you live?"
say" Indiana?" " No god dammit I said Indian." Listen to my words. Besides I'm from Ohio not that hoosier state of Indiana. Trying to paint a visual I say its about half way from the city and the hippie little ski resort town. Then since most folks don't even understand that I ask if they are familiar with the Brown Bear roadhouse. Some know: these are the people who upon entry to the bear don't get acknowledgement of even being alive for five minutes. Normally this would be a major faux pas in customer service but you have not met Matty. Not only that but visual inspection of a valid ID is required at this point is required to purchase their poor choice in non Alaskan beer.
Me on the other hand can stroll in and lately get asked, "so do you want an APA?" Wow you may might as well scream out Norm, ignore my beer tab of $1000's and make me captain of the inept softball team. Guess I'm dating myself there, well somebody has to- another rant later in this post. Not that I'm a regular there- I'm not regular anywhere- since my backcountry days in WA I'm not regular period. Enough about unmentionables, habits, and other items.
Indian Alaska is home to Turnagain Arm, Indian Valley meats, belugas, bears that are mostly black, homesteader wanna-bes, and the Chugach. Well of course that is a generalization but you get the picture I hope. Anchorage which I've heard called Oinkerage or the standard line is- "well you can see the real Alaska about 30 minutes away." This statement is really shallow, short sighted, and inaccurate. #1 there are several moose in Anchorage and I'm not talking about on the fringes of town, they are downtown. #2 drunks are falling into the streets- this sad fact happens everywhere up here I think it is less per capita then in smaller towns. #3 I can see Denali on clear days, not only that but the Chigmit Range is often in plain view. Sure other cities across the world have amazing views of mountains such as Seattle and Mt. Rainier. #4 dogsled races, XC skiing, other non traditional pursuits happen here in town. All this being said I'm not an apologist for big cities or small ones like Anchorage that are smaller than Peoria in population. Guess I'm making comments on observations that I have made. Like the stand up comedian yet I don't get laughs or free drinks- yet.
So the odd are good yet the goods are odd. Ladies I feel for you in this case. Instead of wearing fuck me boots us guys wear X-tra tuffs like a badge of honor- some to weddings. We are fat, we are lazy, and we are stupid. If not in an oversized truck we are zipping around on a revved up sled. If not that then a boat whose job it is to cater to rich down south folk who wanna go fishin. Your choices are slim and we are not. Sure it gets lonely during the long dark and darkness of winter. But you should consider Florida or even Texas. I am not but I'm not from here.
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